4 years ago on this day I was pregnant, I wrote a journal entry about the best birthday present ever....Tim and I had received a phone call that we were pregnant after months of rigorous fertility treatments, Carleigh was finally going to be a big sister! The next words out of the nurses mouth were, "are you sitting down?" and I said sure why? and she proceed to tell me that our HCG levels were through the roof at a whooping 2400, she said everything indicated that the pregnancy would be twins or possibly triplets!!!! OH MY WORD PEOPLE! LOL Tim and I laughed until we cried!! You see, this was the last cycle that our fertility doctor was going to do with us before we began IVF, which was a road I just didn't want to have to embark down, so these babies were an answer to my prayers, begging God to spare me from IVF. We called our parents and siblings and put Carleigh's big sister shirt on her and took pictures and sent them out via cell phone, we celebrated because when you suffer from infertility your baby is a baby from the day it is made, there is no debate in a fertility office of when a baby is a baby at least not in my head!! and we started talking plans about where we would put multiples and how I would most definitely have to quit working and we fell in love with these tiny little babies that were nestled warm and snug in my belly we were SO naive about what could happen, today I am going to let the story end there, I am going to relish in those happy moments we felt when we found out that we were indeed expecting and that it was probably twins or triplets, I am going to reread that journal entry and laugh at Tim's reaction and recall my own which was "Holy Sh*t Brenda(our RE nurse) are you kidding me!!" I felt safe with those high numbers because all through my first trimester with Carleigh, they told me we could lose her because the numbers were low and not rising correctly, fear NEVER entered my mind that day. What a beautiful day it was 4 years ago...........
Miscarriages are such a taboo subject, they aren't talked about often and yet they happen in 1 out of 4 pregnancies I am going to do a couple of posts of how having a miscarriage affected my life and those around me and how I dealt with it, I am doing this for a couple of reasons, one being I want it documented for my girls in case they ever have to go through it as I was the first one in my immediate family to experience it and it can be really hard for people to understand, and secondly because there isn't much information out there what it is like, mostly there is info about the emotional parts of dealing with it years later.... so come back and read if you are interested they will be scattered throughout the month, if this isn't something that you feel comfortable reading I will title the post with the letter M and a number in the sequence I write them and you will know that it is a miscarriage post!! Thanks for reading and come back soon!!! There are a couple of craft projects a brewing that you won't want to miss!!
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