( Sorry for the messy look of our blog! I am currently working on winterizing it but it takes more time to do that than I have had lately! I also know I am WAY overdue for some updates and I have lots I need to get wrote down like Carleigh's FIRST visit from the tooth fairy!!! :) I will definitely be back to do a catch up post but for today I had something else on my heart)
Christmas is all around us, I see it everywhere I look. Facebook is full of it, I have watched everyone around me as they have prepared and relished in the season. I have seen tons of "generic" posts about making the season about Jesus rather than Santa and other posts defending why they choose to do Elf on the Shelf and Santa even though they are Christians. I have heard lots of great Christmas carols and enjoyed lots of good Christmas goodies. I LOVE Christmas and always have, it has always been a magical and special time at our house, I secertly think that my mom is one of Santa's Elves and always has been! I enjoy teaching my kids the traditions I have grown up with and watching their eyes light up. I LOVE that Carleigh can tell you the WHOLE Christmas story and that she is intrigued and in love with baby Jesus's Birthday and I also love the sparkle I see in Caylee's eye's as she opens a present. It is definitely a magical time of year!
I will never forget the first Christmas that I was mom for. I was nearly nine month's pregnant with Carleigh and I was watching a reenactment of that Christmas Eve so many years ago. It was in that moment that I "got" Mary. My tummy was heavy with child, and I could understand how tired she must have felt after such long days of endless travel, My ankles hurt and I had comfortable shoes on, she wouldn't have had that luxury, I had comfortable maternity clothes to help support the heaviness of my baby, Mary wouldn't have had that either. I had a wedding ring on my finger and everyone knew who the father of my baby was and their were no doubts about that. Mary didn't have that kind of security. I was in my early twenties, Mary would have been younger than me by far.........and yet she had a maturity about her that I STILL don't have even though I am now 29, yes my first year as a mom I was able to understand Mary in a way I had never imagined and the tears filled my eyes .....
The second year I was a mom for Christmas I had a 11 month old on my hip who I loved more than I could ever imagine, she was my everything and I couldn't (and still can't) imagine my life without her. My second year as a mom I "Got" Mary even more.....I now knew the love she felt when she looked down at her sweet baby boy for the first time. I know how her heart swelled with love and how she tired to pick out what features of her He had. I understood her love for Him in a way that I had never been able to before, and not only did I understand a side of Mary I had never understood before, I understood a side of Jesus, he came just like any other baby, he looked up at his mommy with those sweet baby eyes and puffy newborn lips and He LOVED unconditionally just like my babies love me that way. He loved her in that "you can do no wrong because you are my mom" kind of way. My second year of Christmas I understood a mother's love like never before.....and it was breathtaking.
I am now going into my 6th Christmas as a mom, and the wonder of it still takes my breath away. This Christmas I am getting to experience Carleigh understanding, truly understanding, Christmas. She understands how babies are born (well at least that they come out of your tummy), She understands that Jesus was a baby born to his mommy Mary and that God is his Daddy but that Joseph was there with Mary, She is starting to put it all together and that is enough for now, but I am praying that someday she will be able to look at me, while holding her own baby and say Mom, I "get" Mary now, I truly understand how she must have felt on that dark night with the North Star shining down on her, oh the love she must have felt.
Thank you Mary, for loving and mothering our Savior in only that way that a mother can. Thank you for rejoicing over each milestone He made and for kissing his booboo's and rocking him to sleep at night, thank you for nursing him through illness and for teaching him. Thank you Mary for making a sacrifice that no mother should ever have to make.....
This song means more to me than any other Christmas song now because I understand a whole lot more than I used too!
No comments:
Post a Comment