If you have known me long, then you know that my kids are my little (well not so little anymore) miracles. No really, I am not just another mom spouting off about the miracle of life that grew in her womb. My kids are medical miracles. They were conceived purely by medical technology and only because God chose it to happen. They were conceived when all the odds were against us and only because we pushed onward even though the journey wasn't so pleasant. 7 years ago, I held the most prefect baby in my arms for the first time. Oh she had imperfections but she was whole and she was ALIVE and she was absolutely precious! And I was so glad we hadn't given up hope! It is very easy to forget, in our everyday life, that our kids are only here because God ordained it so, they aren't here because we forgot birth control one drunken night, or because we sat down and looked at our five year plan and decided it was time. They aren't here because our religious choice prevents us from using any kind of protection. They are here because of a doctor who wouldn't give up on us, and because God decided that I was the perfect person to be Carleigh (and Caylee's mama) and that people is so humbling!!!! But anyway I got off on a tangent! Back to my little miracle turning 7!!! 7 people that is crazy!!! Crazy because I am only 18 and there is just no way I could be the parent to SEVEN year old!!!!!! What the heck!!! But 7, 7 years as the mama to this crazy, cute, spunky, full of sass, dramatic, little diva who knocks my socks off at least once a day with the witty things she says!!! I remember when I prayed so hard that I would be able to carry her in my belly for 7 weeks, (because that is when our Dr. said the risk for miscarriage decreases) and then I prayed so hard for the 17 week sonogram (I was so thankful that my doctor didn't make us wait until 20 weeks),that this little person I was growing would be healthy and indeed she was and we got to meet HER via sonogram and she was prefect and then at 30 weeks, I started having complications so the prayers turned into please let me carry her to 37 weeks Lord, let her lungs develop fully by then. Alas we didnt' make it to the 37 week mark, we made it 35 weeks and 6 days and Carleigh made her entrance into the world, It would be fun if I told you she weighed 7lbs 7 ounces and was born at 7:07, LOL!! BUT I can't even thought that would but fun way to round out my story, she was 5 tiny pounds of amazing though, and she scored awesome on her APGAR test and never had to go NICU even though the doctor said she would, and she was amazing, and for the last 7 years she has made being a mommy the very best (alas not always easy) 7 years of my life (all 18 years of it!! wink wink!!)
Oh My "Big 7 year old" Carleigh,
That's what you tell me a million times a day "mom I am big 7 year old now, I can do it myself" One day at being 7 and you think you have it all figured out. Your independence is coming out in full force, I find myself fearing this, mostly because you want to dress yourself and you can't match clothes yet ....boy the discussions we have had about this already! And you want to do your own hair, which consists of slicking it down wet and parting it straight down the middle, a poster child for the 70's. Carleigh you and I and fashion, boy we have a lot to learn, because if I fail at anything in life it is definitely in the fashion department!! BUT I have managed to dress you and your sister pretty cute until now, so hang with me a little longer and I promise to hand the fashion department and you and my checkbook over to your auntie Dawn as soon as you get a little bit bigger!! Until then, I am sorry but you can't slick your hair 70's style....Someday you will thank me for this!! I can't believe how different you are from last year to this year, you are turning into a big girl and I am just not ready for it yet. You are doing amazing in school, you excel at reading which makes me a happy mama and you are awesome at math, which is so great and I am so happy about because I have always struggled with math! It would seem you take after your dad with that one! You have a big heart, and you want everyone to be your friend, you never want to leave anyone out and although you have a bit of a bossy tendency you always mean well. You get notes sent home from school often saying you have helped another student by sharing or just helping them understand something they don't. I look at you and I see so much of myself, and I just pray that life and people continue to treat you with kindness and I hope Carleigh, that when they don't, that you will still choose to have a kind heart, to give people the benefit of the doubt and a million and one chances, because that is such a rare quality, to always see the good in people like we do honey, that doesn't happen to everyone, it is a gift, one that will get your heart broken more than once, but also one that has rewards that go far deeper than anyone can see. So don't let anyone steal that from you. You are so much more than I could have ever dreamed for in a daughter, and my dreams reached all the way to the sky, so continue to soar sweet girl!! Your dad and I love you so much!
Love,
Mommy (AKA Your Mother, which is how you are so kindly referring to me these days)
